Rules For Travelling By Train

I resisted making this post for some time, for it reveals the petty and authoritarian side of my nature. I travel by train a lot. Although Mussolini didn't actually make the trains run on time, these are the things he should have done:
  • When waiting for a train, spread out evenly along the platform. I always see everyone trying to board the train through the same door, forming a massive queue. If all the entrances to the train were used evenly, the train could actually leave on time.
  • Wait for people to get off before getting on.
  • While you're waiting for people to get off, queue parallel to the train and for heaven's sake leave a generous gap to let people get off.
  • When you get on the train, walk along to the middle of the carriage AND DON'T DAWDLE then find a seat. If there isn't a seat, then stand as near to the middle of the carriage as you can.
  • Above all, don't loiter in the vestibule.


  1. Blimey. I never really believed that anyone else read this!

  2. I get trains every day and pretty much always loiter in the vestibule - you probably hate me.

  3. Michael, I could never hate you! May you loiter long and prosper.